Last post, I wrote about how senses—sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell—shape your home experience in personal and profound ways. What's fascinating is how sensations vary from person to person. For instance, our perception of something smelling “good” or “bad” stems from instinct and a past pleasant/unpleasant experience. Color preference is based on early emotional experiences, too. Hence why in our homes, colors we're drawn to are repeated because they make us feel good, happy, and safe. Essentially, you and I could be in the same room—seeing, hearing, touching, and smelling the same things—but what we notice (sense) and interpret (perceive) first could be different because our previous exposures and environments were different.
This difference gives us unique perspectives. It's why people "see things differently" and find comfort and joy from various sources. If we all viewed things the same, interior spaces wouldn't be personal, they'd be cookie-cutter. And that would be incredibly boring and sad!
Sometimes, we can be stuck in our viewpoint, which gets in our way of seeing things in another, possibly better, way. In reality, perspective is a choice and you have the power to shift it. Let’s imagine a toy explosion in your living room. At first glance, it looks like a major mess, which can trigger feelings of frustration, annoyance, and overwhelm. But it could also be seen as an opportunity for growth and connection between parent and child. It could serve as a moment of gratitude for what you have and what you get to do. It’s a chance to love and appreciate the beautiful home around you, even if it appears otherwise.
So, how do you make this perspective shift happen?
Stimulating your other senses provides a positive distraction that helps shift your mindset. In Gretchen Rubin’s latest book, “Life in Five Senses”, Rubin observes that we each have unique “foreground senses” (ones we notice quickly and therefore pay greater attention to) and “background senses” (ones that are present but we don't immediately notice). I’ve also found this to be true and have used this awareness to turn uncomfortable situations around.
POV: Do you see a hot mess or the remnants of a fun weekend of play?
That ↑ toy mess, for example, is visually distracting and overwhelming to me and my kids. Yet when we put on our “girl-time” playlist, tidying up is quicker and much less frustrating. We all walk away feeling good. If sound isn’t a foreground sense for you, maybe the smell of a scented candle could give you a sense of calm. Or perhaps a yummy beverage could provide a flavor to savor while you address a mess. If you’re not sure what your foreground senses are, pay attention to what you notice first the next time you step into your home:
👁️ Sight—color, shape, pattern, scale
👂🏽 Sound—laughter, talking, song, silence
👃🏽 Smell—savory, sweet, stinky, clean
✋🏽 Touch—texture, temperature
The smell is what I first notice, but sounds are definitely what I’m most sensitive to. When things get loud or tones turn unkind, I try to speak up and do something about it. When I do, it positively changes how I feel, mentally, emotionally, and physically...it enables me to shift my perspective and move into a place that's better for me and those around me.
what sense will you tap into to shift your perspective?
Shifting perspectives takes practice. As a highly sensitive person (or HSP), my senses are easily overstimulated, causing me to overreact and feel bad/guilty/ashamed afterward. Seeing clutter and mess in my own home (hello↑) can be a trigger…but by noticing when my senses are bothered and making quiet time to think about why it's happening, that trigger often tells me something else is going on.
With practice, I’ve learned to react less and shift my mind to embrace more. You. Can. Too.
So when your home looks and, in turn, feels out of control, know there's an amazing power inside you to shift your perspective and redirect the stress. You don’t have to stay stuck. With practice (i.e. paying attention to your surroundings, thoughts, sensations, and feelings), you can learn to take control of what’s happening, inside and out. I hope you make time to find what works for you.
Always,
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