Just last month, my baby girl turned 7. SEVEN!!!!!!! We enjoyed multiple celebrations with school friends, our dear neighbors (aka our “State College family”), and my parents who came to visit. Birthdays are a big deal to us. As an event that only happens once in a lifetime, we like to make every part of it significant and fun.
What’s extra special about this one is the candle you see on top of my girl’s pancake cake. We happened to be at my parents’ place the year my first daughter turned seven. I was determined to purge much of what I had left behind, which I did (relief!), but little did I know I would find this candle amongst my stuff. As a kid, I kept everything. Every card. Every photo. Every scribbled note. Every school project. Everything anyone gave me…including candles! Rediscovering it felt serendipitous, a happy chance to share something unique with my girls.
Like I said, birthdays are big deals. And although this candle feels more special to me now, I’ve no doubt the sentimentality will grow with time, especially if we get to use the candle again.
That’s the interesting thing about sentimental things. When we first form a sentimental attachment to an object, we tie it to an experience and specific emotions and then build a memory around it. Sometimes that tie is strong and we carry it with us tightly. Other times, the tie loosens and our memory of it fades. The challenge comes years later when we’re faced with what to do with those loose ties, those once sentimental items that held significance in the moment but no longer do today. If we still have them, seeing them can bring up various emotions—joy, sadness, nostalgia, love, guilt—that leave us vulnerable and torn with what to do next.
Packing them up in boxes to store away in a basement or attic is a quick temporary answer. At some point, we have to reface those items and repeat the emotional process. Sentimental is, by far, the hardest category to edit, organize, and make space for in your home. From photos and books to clothing, papers, gifts, heirlooms, and more, sentimental takes on many forms, the quantity of which can be even greater.
So what’s the long-term solution to dealing with this complex category? In short, there isn’t one sure fix. It’s another part of what makes a home personal and distinguishes yours from mine. Sentimental objects represent our individual experiences, so whether we choose to store, display, or let go of them is a personal process that takes time and thought. You might begin by asking yourself:
Why am I connected to this item?
How does that connection make me feel today?
Does it still resonate with me?
If so, how do I want to remember it?
If not, how would I feel if I no longer had this item?
Can I photograph it and physically let it go?
Some objects may evoke a clear response. Others will fall into an iffy gray area and end up in that basement box. This process isn’t simple or easy. Yet going through it, thoughtfully, can be transformative. It allows you to discern what’s of value to you in the present. It identifies core childhood emotions that show up and trigger you in adulthood. It revisits past, possibly painful, events and gives you the chance to let them go.
To be clear, the goal of going through sentimental items isn’t about purging the past into nothing. It’s about curating the memories that mean the most while freeing up space in your home, mind, and heart to make and be present for new ones. It's an ongoing process that takes care and intention to find what feels good and right for you.
do you struggle with sentimental items?
I do. When I say I’m with you in the house-to-home process, navigating sentimental stuff puts us on the same struggle bus. This post is an invitation to start a conversation around our shared struggle. There’s no right or wrong way to tackle this daunting category. Sharing our personal experience, be it a stumbling block or aha moment, validates our struggle, gives us ideas to try, and instills a sense of hope that we can each move through this. The kiddo that saved all the things has grown into the incredible adult you see in the mirror today. I'd love for you to share where you’re at with sentimental items in the Comments below because you don’t have to stay stuck in this struggle alone.
Always,
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