Curating your wardrobe is extremely personal. That’s what makes it hard to do and even harder to start. And it’s why I saved CLOTHES for last in this curating closets series because there’s more to unpack than your physical items and space.
Before you even get to the physical, a significant mental shift needs to happen. Thus I’m dividing CLOTHES into two posts. I first want to validate two common feelings around editing your wardrobe by taking you through excerpts from my own journey. Next post will focus on how to edit your wardrobe and uncover or rediscover your style in the process.
guilt
Although I’ve never been particularly interested in fashion, back when I worked for healthcare design firms, I needed to keep up with the corporate dress code. Of course, just starting out in the field meant money was tight, so I didn’t even entertain high-end brands let alone full-price articles. My wardrobe was trendy, fast fashion.
That was five years ago. When I think, “Would I buy that now?”, my response to most of those trendy garments is No. Since then, I’ve been reaching for certain colors and natural fabrics, leaving many pieces unworn and collecting dust (yikes). My clothing needs and likes have changed a lot, which is okay and makes sense for the season I’m in.
I imagine my experience is shared by some of you, too, as our homes have become the new or permanent place to work. Do I experience guilt for saying No? You bet. Guilt about money spent. Guilt about the environmental impact. But most emotionally, guilty about the effort, money, and time someone else spent on clothes for me. I feel ALL the guilt. And it’s hard.
Do you feel this, too? Know that these thoughts and feelings around guilt are normal, and making peace within yourself takes time but is possible. Talking it out with family and friends, writing it out here, and helping my clients with their same feelings have shown me it’s possible and does feel better, slowly but surely.
stress + overwhelm
In my first post of this closet series, I wrote about knowing your WHY for curating your closet. Back in 2018, I stumbled across my why through ‘Minimalism’, a Netflix documentary by Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus (aka, The Minimalists). When it came to clothes, the points from the film that resonated with me were: (1) choosing quality over quantity, and (2) never wondering what to wear because you love everything in your wardrobe.
The latter in particular helped me see my why and my clothes in a new way. Do I love this item? If so, do I wear it? If not, why am I holding on to it? These seemingly simple questions weren’t always easy to answer. But they made this clear: Clothes worth having in my closet must have value and purpose in my life. I’ve got to need them, wear them, AND love them. Clothes are like a second skin, so loving what you wear affects your mood, attitude, and how you carry yourself out in the world. For me, being comfortable in my clothes makes me feel good, confident, and empowered. If I’m constantly stuck deciding what to wear because the few pieces I want to wear are living in a sea of the past, I’m going to struggle and feel stressed about getting dressed every day.
If you share the same struggle and stress about choosing what to wear, how does the idea of organizing your closet feel? Probably overwhelming. My journey started strong with manageable bouts of stress. But at some point (gifts, sentimental pieces), overwhelm crept in like a huge dose of anxiety, stress, and guilt wrapped in one. I had to step away, pause for a while (read: months), and come back to my WHY – to love everything in my closet, so I feel good wearing anything, anytime.
Buried beneath my clothes is my excitement to revive and finish my closet journey.
After taking a pause, I’m ready to tackle the harder pieces, keeping my WHY in mind, as well as remembering that…
Clothing I no longer wear, need, or love deserves to bring someone else value and joy…rather than taking my time to maintain and space to hang in my closet.
It’s okay to feel guilty, stressed, and overwhelm, and it’s more than okay to let go. Most recently, my daughter and I donated clothes to a local school drive. As we brought in our donations I said, “You know, Bear, we are going to make someone really happy today.” A little teaching moment for her. Assuring statement for me. Proof that letting go is good and feels good, too.
do you want to feel good in what you wear and love everything in your closet?
You know I do, but as I'm still working through my wardrobe, indecision makes an occasional appearance. When it does, I take a page from my kiddos' playbook: Wear what you love. Only. They know what they feel good in and they really don’t care whether colors coordinate or patterns clash. Best of all, what anyone else thinks is not on their radar. I admire their unwavering confidence and am working on emulating that when I step into my closet.
You're not alone in this, so share your experience with me in the Comments below, and stay tuned for the next post when we get into editing and curating your closet just for you.
Always,
